|
Blow Job gone wrong 9/15/2021
As we are laying in bed. Me sucking his
cock him slamming the dildo into my pussy. We been at it for
20 plus minutes. I had already came 2 times. He wanted 3.
I raised my hips I was getting close he said ya suck it I
going to cum. I wrapped my lips around the head and went into
suction mode. He was pumping at my mouth when he jerked away
and Shot Cum straight ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
Lol 3/14/2021
<br><br>
Ou
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Call Girls In Jaipur | High Profile Call Girls in Jaipur 1/30/2021
Dear friends, if you are interested in reading of article
then it is a most interesting article which I am going to
present and you will read the story of jaipur on
this page just read an entire summary and also visit the
personal website-https://www.pinkcityescort.com/
so that you can read and see images just contact us.I am telling
a story related to it is the most interesting story
of how ...
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake 12/4/2020
One of my "kinks" these days is weeding out the
various fake profiles that pop up in AdultFriendFinder now and then. So,
from the home office in Ypsilanti, Michigan, here are the
Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake <br><br>
10. The writer spels and speaks english goodly . 9. Uses a photo of a woman who should be a model 8. Uses a photo of a woman who actually IS a model ...
2 Comments, 46 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
|
Anal 8/14/2020
Care share an anal experiences that have gone bad?
0 Comments, 23 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Clean up on aisle 9, please 1/31/2020
I have a friend has granted me permission to share her
story. No, this is not code for me to be able to talk about
myself without you knowing it, but an actual friend. If
you’ve kept up with any of my blogs or writings, you know
my life is an open book, so there would be no need for me to
hide behind “a friend.” Let’s her “Grace.”
Anyway… Grace has come to a in her life where ...
0 Comments, 110 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score |
|
?? Why is ?? 1/30/2020
If we have 3somes all the times but I can’t at females!?!!
Lol
1 Comments, 8 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
The Sound of Incognito 1/28/2020
Hello incognito, my old friend I've come to do bad things again Stealth mode on while I'm creeping Releasing seeds if you catch my meaning And the visions that are planted in brain Still remain but not in web browser after I close out and delete all history
just in case <br><br>
In office I wasn't alone Nearly caught me on phone 'Neath desk fingers cramp And I think ...
2 Comments, 16 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
It's all about the points.... 1/26/2020
It's all about the ....It's all about the
....It's all about the ....It's
all about the ....It's all about the ....It's
all about the ....
2 Comments, 18 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
|
Mirror Mirror 1/19/2020
Jacqueline’s breath caught in her throat as Raef pulled
her tight his chest. With his arms wrapped tightly around
her, she looked into his eyes and saw them sparkle with the
reflection of the stars. His lips were soft against her
ear as he leaned down and whispered… <br><br>
Okay—Okay—I…I’m sorry. I just can't do this.
<br><br>
LOL! <br><br> ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
|
Dinner is Served 1/8/2020
I had an odd (?) thought today, while masturbating. At least,
I think it may have been odd? I’m not sure. Here, I’ll
just tell you and you can make up your own mind. Cool? Let’s
proceed… Sex is kind of like a candle. When you first ignite the spark,
it’s hot and heavy. I mean, that shit is on! I’m thinking
most of us understand and have experienced aforementioned
hotness, so there’s ...
9 Comments, 132 Views,
30 Votes
,4.42 Score |
|
points 1/5/2020
4 the points
1 Comments, 9 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
i am not funnin in a relationship 1/3/2020
Just need to get some Points so I am adding something here.
1 Comments, 14 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score |
|
Funny 1/3/2020
Funny more points
0 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score |
|
Your Seat Can Also Be Used as a Flotation Device 1/1/2020
I was in my mid forties, contently married for 14 years and KNEW life was perfect! <br><br>
ME: Life is perfect! <br><br>
LIFE: Wanna bet? <br><br>
Details are not important... Him~ my sister~Our couch
in our house~Fucking~Done and divorced. <br><br>
What the fuck was I supposed to do now? OH, right! Date! <br><br>
I knew there was no ...
3 Comments, 115 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score |
|
Santa Porn 12/26/2019
"Ahh, now for the real life part, " Santa smiled,
as Brenda and Sally repositioned themselves. In real life,
when it's not porn for men to jack off to, Lesbian sex
is a far more beautiful thing and less of a spectator sport.
Sally laid back, and Brenda gently slipped her fingers
into Sally, turned her wrist just the way she knew, and started
the orgasm inducing fingering that worked ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
18 Votes
,2.31 Score |
|
Ahh youth 12/22/2019
So I like cumming on a womans tits or even her and of course
Im more in tune with the idea when the partner in question
wants it. Oh but what about a time when you lacked experience
and aim...Like hitting a womam right in the eye they they
are even near your . IE a shot arced back enough
land in her eye when we were laying side by side after lol
ahh youth
3 Comments, 41 Views,
19 Votes
,4.05 Score |
|
No points! 12/20/2019
is not very funny.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
points 12/17/2019
points
0 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
|
Blowjob hickies 12/15/2019
I'm very partial receiving oral. Sometimes some
people get a little carried away and when I get home I notice
the head of dick is all bloodshot. I was telling friend
about this problem and he started calling them dickies.
Does anyone else run into this and what do you call it?
3 Comments, 43 Views,
27 Votes
,3.77 Score |
|
Himor 12/15/2019
Where’s e him in relationshipscv
0 Comments, 4 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score |
|
How well do you know each other :) 12/13/2019
: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man
doesn’t know his wife he marries her. <br><br>
Father: , that’s true everywhere.
5 Comments, 40 Views,
18 Votes
,2.99 Score |
|
bi 11/29/2019
to bi or not to bi , bye
2 Comments, 28 Views,
19 Votes
,1.67 Score |
|
cock size 10/22/2019
I love in how are bigger than everything i see, Pictures
or ca m if you want
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
I love white woman 10/20/2019
I prefer white woman, I love my black woman but I also love
white woman because they are more freakier.
8 Comments, 83 Views,
50 Votes
,2.62 Score |
|
Funny 10/10/2019
If its easy take it twice
3 Comments, 68 Views,
55 Votes
,1.86 Score |
|
In the family way 10/4/2019
This is the story of a young lawyer who always spent his summer
vacation at the same place by the sea. He always went to the
same boarding house because the of the hotel looked
good enough to eat. Naturally, as the lawyer was handsome and with the summer
heat helping, the two young people quickly went from feelings
to actions. The next year, the lawyer found his sweetheart, and was
surprised to ...
4 Comments, 125 Views,
55 Votes
,3.28 Score |
|
Living by the three F's. 9/29/2019
If it floats, flys or fucks. Rent it don't buy it. Anyone
else live by this?
4 Comments, 55 Views,
45 Votes
,2.36 Score |
|
Try to have fun 9/23/2019
Keep your woman happy n always eat her pussy before you fuck
her
6 Comments, 92 Views,
61 Votes
,3.94 Score |
|
Free bonus 9/18/2019
I remember AdultFriendFinder use to give u credits or 40 day gold or something
6 Comments, 73 Views,
55 Votes
,2.73 Score |
|
Anal sex 9/18/2019
Is it just me or is anyone else worried about being s#$T on
6 Comments, 45 Views,
25 Votes
,2.25 Score |
|
Losing my virginity 9/18/2019
Lost it in a construction site with a girl in the front seat
of a backhoe. wild experience. a bit of my cum dripped out
her pussy onto the seat so someone is probably wondering
how that stain got there
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
|
Losing my virginity 9/18/2019
Lost it in a construction site with a girl in the front seat
of a backhoe. wild experience. a bit of my cum dripped out
her pussy onto the seat so someone is probably wondering
how that stain got there
0 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
|
points 9/17/2019
pts
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
|
points 9/15/2019
points
1 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
|
que TAN IMPORTANTE ES? 9/1/2019
el humor es una variable influyente en una relacion de pareja?
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
fun is good 8/28/2019
Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers;
here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some
night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente,
France, last year. <br><br>
Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces,
'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't
spoken to me in eighteen months.' ...
4 Comments, 98 Views,
57 Votes
,2.56 Score |
|
Blind Date 8/24/2019
I had a blind date once. A friend of mine asked take
his g/f's sister. I agreed. So I went her place
get her. When she opened the door she was 5ft tall and weighed
about 350lbs. I thought okay. So we went a nice restaurant.
After sitting down she looked at the menu intently. I thought
okay. Then she said can I pick what I want. I said sure. She
ordered 3 complete meals. The waiter ...
6 Comments, 123 Views,
54 Votes
,3.35 Score |
|
Sense of humor 8/17/2019
relationships where both individuals don’t have a good
sense of humor never seem work. Understand you have
take you relationship serious but making each other laugh
and smile helps build and sustain a good relationship.
4 Comments, 43 Views,
26 Votes
,3.35 Score |
|
booty 8/7/2019
o booty how I chase thee I only did this for my points yee I don't want to trespass I just want to fuck that ass good people i love you with that said throu
1 Comments, 30 Views,
25 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
Passing gas in the bedroom 7/31/2019
If you have a significant other or a friend with benefits
would it make you laugh if they were to pass gas while having
sex? Some people may find it gross but personally I enjoy
the embarrassment/ humor that comes from the unplanned
moment. Is it really that bad? It seems natural to me. What
do you think?
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
points 6/27/2019
points points points points points points
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Peter at the gate. 6/21/2019
comes to gates of Heaven telling Peter about her
husband and their yard, Peter tells her you didn't
need a man , you needed a bull , you are a milking cow.
3 Comments, 67 Views,
35 Votes
,2.01 Score |
|
points 6/19/2019
Points points points points points
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Loosen up 6/10/2019
Getting ready for a meet...loosen up. Remember your here
for fun. Although keeping our nerves in check is not easy.
So lighten up and have the most fun imaginable.
14 Comments, 138 Views,
86 Votes
,5.03 Score |
|
points 6/8/2019
for points please ignore
0 Comments, 4 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
|
points 6/8/2019
for points please ignore
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
I like 5/29/2019
I like to do it in public places, but of morbid people ho
like to look, to me as you can see in my photos, I love it...
7 Comments, 74 Views,
22 Votes
,1.57 Score |
|
points 5/28/2019
doing for more points points points points
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
Panty hose 5/16/2019
So I ducked this woman I met. See told me discrete, and she
really wanted it bad. Great i hit it hard, and fast, done
in record time. Then she tell me she was a virgin. I say, if
I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken my time with you.
She says, if I knew you were going to take your time, I would
have taken my panty hose off.
1 Comments, 56 Views,
36 Votes
,2.89 Score |
|
anyone ever... 5/4/2019
slap a girls ass while your 69ing and then get the weird feeling
like a you just disturbed a bunch of poop particles that
are now falling down onto your face...probably not but
I swear i've felt dusting before and it really pulls
you out of the moment and makes you hesitant to slap that
ass again...
5 Comments, 59 Views,
42 Votes
,0.93 Score |
|
points 4/27/2019
points points points points points
1 Comments, 16 Views,
10 Votes
,1.99 Score |
|
points 4/26/2019
doing this for more points
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Said "No Thank You" 4/8/2019
One night, drinking at my friends, I decided to invite a
girl friend over to partake. As the night went on, and her
drooling over me, things started to die down and get quiet.
Just as the room got silent, my girl friend leaned over and
yelled "LET'S FUCK". Me being shy, politely
said "No thank you". The next week, the same
girl friend called me up and asked me if I would ...
5 Comments, 121 Views,
49 Votes
,3.57 Score |
|
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you during sex? 4/7/2019
I once broke the bed right before climax.. went right through
it!
3 Comments, 70 Views,
38 Votes
,3.24 Score |
|
here for the points 3/20/2019
points points points points points points points
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
Points 2/17/2019
Just here for the points
12 Comments, 88 Views,
57 Votes
,4.96 Score |
|
funny 2/13/2019
whats the funniest thing thats happened to you in public?
0 Comments, 40 Views,
25 Votes
,1.47 Score |
|
discreet? 2/5/2019
funny when you meet someone, they say discreet, and then
get naked? mmmmmm
1 Comments, 32 Views,
23 Votes
,2.31 Score |
|
mothers 1/9/2019
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem
in his house. His three were outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br>
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door
to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...
6 Comments, 130 Views,
49 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
mothers 1/9/2019
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem
in his house. His three were outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br>
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door
to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...
5 Comments, 78 Views,
37 Votes
,2.81 Score |
|
meet you in heaven 1/9/2019
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello”
“How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...
4 Comments, 83 Views,
31 Votes
,3.53 Score |
|
meet you in heaven 1/9/2019
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello”
“How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
23 Votes
,3.60 Score |
|
sex 1/6/2019
https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/understanding-your-sex-drive-when-one-you-wants-it-more?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=
1 Comments, 31 Views,
20 Votes
,0.70 Score |
|
this story to make you laugh 12/29/2018
a lady goes to a restaurant , the waiter comes , and says ,
can I offer you a beer , she says no no. some wine ? no no , Whisky
?? no no. The waiter says , why ? does it make your legs tremble
? she says , they make me open them
1 Comments, 13 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
|
Looking for women that like younger guys 12/4/2018
If you like to chat message on here or six
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Looking for women that like younger guys 12/4/2018
If you like to chat message on here or six
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
In a perfect world 11/27/2018
Orgies!
3 Comments, 45 Views,
34 Votes
,2.07 Score |
|
the funniest thing you ever had happen while playing with a partner 11/21/2018
I would be interested in hearing from others as to the funniest
thing that has ever happened ..... in the moment..
6 Comments, 82 Views,
36 Votes
,3.76 Score |
|
wtf 10/5/2018
for fun or not
4 Comments, 60 Views,
44 Votes
,3.46 Score |
|
Joke about each other 8/25/2018
I like to joke about each other and call each other names
but be very respectful and also know your limit
3 Comments, 27 Views,
16 Votes
,4.16 Score |
|
WOW won't believe this. 7/12/2018
Well I was married to a redheaded German, Irish, Indian
gal for over ten years. If I could write a book about those
years not sure how to put the book on the stands. Fact, fiction,
or your not going to believe this shit. The sex life I really
miss but if your old enough to remember the 16 ounce Pepsi
glass bottles that came in 8 packs I think she could hit a
fly off a fence post at about 50 yards ...
3 Comments, 107 Views,
58 Votes
,3.04 Score |
|
Relationship Clichés: What They Really Mean 7/5/2018
Regardless of who you date, no matter how long the relationship
lasts; chances are you’ll hear some (if not all) of these
favorites. Here’s what they really mean. <br><br>
“Sometimes the person you want the most is the person
you are best without.” I like you but we DO NOT get along. <br><br>
“Everything is going to be OK. Maybe not now or ...
13 Comments, 196 Views,
96 Votes
,5.15 Score |
|
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call 5/4/2018
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
41 Votes
,1.28 Score |
|
Finishing First 5/2/2018
Who thinks that laughing should be part of sex? If you finish
first, why not clap your hands, cheer and say first !
There is always room and time for a second round!
8 Comments, 64 Views,
38 Votes
,3.65 Score |
|
seriously ,that is considered bisexual ? I am wondering. 4/18/2018
Bisexual seems like a simple term that is easy to understand.
But , is it really that simple to declare some a bisexual?
Does having participated in a 3 way with another of the same
sex make some a bisexual? Does intimate contact with the
same sex define the sexuality , or is it the intent of the parties involved. I get a lot of men that want to give
oral sex, but If I accept , am I now a ...
8 Comments, 126 Views,
43 Votes
,4.22 Score |
|
Chewing (Dick) Gum 4/11/2018
I was very young at that time, still in my teens. I was dating
a girl and we agreed to a blowjob before moving onto actual
sex. She was giving me a nice head and I was enjoying thoroughly
as this was the first time I was receiving . She, at the
same time was chewing a gum. When she took out my dick from
her mouth there was this white substance on its head. She
was feeling apologetic that she had ...
4 Comments, 110 Views,
52 Votes
,3.35 Score |
|
How many dick pics should i post 3/14/2018
What is the ratio regular pics to dic picks that I should
have ... like 3 regular pics to 1 dic pic or 3 dic pics to one
regular pic <br><br>
Also should I use my own dic ? Or a random dic on the internet
? Or a celebrity dic ? <br><br>
Just trying to get it right !
6 Comments, 65 Views,
37 Votes
,3.66 Score |
|
funny 3/13/2018
According to new research, humor and laughter may be the
most effective way for men and women to initiate and develop
a relationship. Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor at the University
of Kansas, found that when two strangers meet, the more
times a man tries to be funny and the more a woman laughs at
those attempts, the more likely it is for the woman to be
interested in dating. Chances of ...
2 Comments, 14 Views,
11 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
My friend's antics with crab potion 2/3/2018
This is an old tale but still makes me laugh when I'm
reminded of it. <br><br>
We were in our 20's and enjoying life as young lads do,
including one drunken weekend of partying which included
sharing a girl who kindly thanked us with a dose of crabs.
<br><br>
Apparently, he knew his previous landlady had a bottle
of the cure and I drove him over to collect it. ...
4 Comments, 102 Views,
49 Votes
,4.11 Score |
|
Read the label, its on there for a reason 1/25/2018
We see a couple that we met here on AdultFriendFinder, they are great people,
are a lot of fun and awesome friends who we have come to love,
trust and respect. Last month we were together for yet another
great evening of dinning, conversation and awesome adult
fun. Of course, both of the ladies shave down under. I (male)
did not shave down under, I never have! We were surprised
to see our male friend of this ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score |
|
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ? 11/17/2017
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?
5 Comments, 52 Views,
36 Votes
,5.31 Score |
|
Whipped 11/14/2017
Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday
would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as
a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?
11 Comments, 86 Views,
43 Votes
,6.41 Score |
|
Whipped 11/14/2017
Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday
would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as
a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?
3 Comments, 31 Views,
15 Votes
,2.82 Score |
|
Me enamora ... 10/26/2017
Me enamora la gente que dice lo que piensa y que realmente
piensa lo que dice <br><br>
. Que no es fácil. La que defiende sus ideas y sus emociones,
porque suyas y sinceras. <br><br>
Pero sin imponerlas a los demás, sin juzgar a quien piensa
diferente <br><br>
y sin compararse con quien no las comparte.
3 Comments, 21 Views,
18 Votes
,2.99 Score |
|
AWKWARD SITUATION 9/19/2017
I was with my chick at a bar when we met up with her ex husband's
friend with his chick. I said hello to him and he said, 'Hey,
ya gotta big dick?" I laughed at first and sat down.
<br><br>
He was one of those egotistical dudes that think there on
top of the world because he has tattoos, motorcycle, and
a good paying job. He looked like Ray Liotta from ...
4 Comments, 117 Views,
26 Votes
,3.67 Score |
|
Go Figure! 9/14/2017
I had a crush on my friends sister but it seemed like every
time she was dating someone then I was not and when I was she
was not. I really wanted to be with her but over time she got
married to a total jerk. She was married before to a jerk
so I guess she is attracted to jerks. Maybe that is why we
never dated - just saying lol.
7 Comments, 42 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score |
|
you have to be funny 9/13/2017
i think that all relationships have to have a good sense
of humor it lightens the mood sometimes when tensions are
high
3 Comments, 37 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score |
|
fun 8/23/2017
enjoy babes!!
0 Comments, 14 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score |
|
Wolf of Pig 8/20/2017
[image1] 《The Three Little Pigs》 Once upon a time there were three little pigs. When they grew up, they left their parents to live their first
winter by themselves. Autumn came and it began raining. The three
little pigs started to feel they needed a real house to live in. They
talked about how to build a house and prepare for the coming
winter, but each decided ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
20 Votes
,4.02 Score |
|
freedom 8/14/2017
commitment = loss of freedom lol!!!
0 Comments, 22 Views,
18 Votes
,5.44 Score |
|
caught 7/9/2017
getting caught by your gf while wanking is total fun lol
1 Comments, 26 Views,
18 Votes
,3.94 Score |
|
freedom 7/4/2017
freedom compromises after commitment
0 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score |
|
When a girl says ... 5/27/2017
When a Woman says, "OK, have fun."
Do not have fun. Abort the mission. I repeat. Abort the mission.
1 Comments, 49 Views,
20 Votes
,4.40 Score |
|
Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship 5/20/2017
I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm
not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in
bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch
it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he
is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend
to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.
Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
17 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
People who do not understand other people 4/30/2017
So I work with this guy who decided the best way for him to
find the girl of his dreams is to try to meet someone, from
another country, online. He had a picture of this girl he
was talking to and was so happy... Only problem was when
he showed me it was a picture of a pornstar. Aside from this
she also claimed to be in South Africa, yeah that country
known for being terrible, and needed money ...
3 Comments, 58 Views,
17 Votes
,2.84 Score |
|
Love Line 4/2/2017
Love line with Adam needs to come back so bad...guys you
need to listen.
8 Comments, 74 Views,
42 Votes
,2.62 Score |
|
Married or Single 3/25/2017
I was wondering what type of situation most women prefer
here. When one is involved, do you prefer to find someone
else who is also in a relationship or is preferable to find
a single man. What do the single women here prefer. I like
a drama free situation with someone fun and outgoing, but
I am single and keep my options open.
5 Comments, 57 Views,
22 Votes
,4.57 Score |
|
oldie but goodie 2/15/2017
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over
a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry
Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked
me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for
releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...
4 Comments, 106 Views,
19 Votes
,3.65 Score |
|
Opps have you been recognized by, friends, coworkers, family? 2/2/2017
So has it happened to you any thing bad come of it? Anything good come of it?
Or just embarrassed....
I was recognized in my blk dress this week! opps family...,
mmmmm coworker!
20 Comments, 299 Views,
59 Votes
,6.06 Score |
|
Haaaaachu....!!!! 11/17/2016
A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor.
She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing,
and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor
asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman
replies, "Sniffing pepper."
5 Comments, 90 Views,
28 Votes
,4.78 Score |
|
who can you trust 11/8/2016
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table
to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy,
was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit
his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments
Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything
under ...
6 Comments, 276 Views,
26 Votes
,5.94 Score |
|
Drunk 9/30/2016
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle,
shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great
Pussy!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores
him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the
same guy, and ...
3 Comments, 131 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score |
|
Weekend sex 9/30/2016
Would love to have sex- i said.
She gave me a glove...
Xxx
6 Comments, 57 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score |
|
false advertisment 9/21/2016
so awhile back i met a lady on AdultFriendFinder and what caught my attention
was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly
(at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few
weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one
friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe
just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if
you need some replacement dick, i'm ...
3 Comments, 228 Views,
21 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
Human Relationships 9/20/2016
Ultimately, the only way to make good friends is to become
a good friend yourself. Good people gather around other
good people.
2 Comments, 15 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
I am ready 9/8/2016
Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only
thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...
6 Comments, 45 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score |
|
.zdfgjkldfklhb 9/4/2016
respect is the most important value in the relationship
1 Comments, 15 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
|
Tires made of pussy 8/21/2016
We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This
girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would
never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't
work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!
3 Comments, 56 Views,
16 Votes
,3.27 Score |
|
Why do people always say things that arent? 8/2/2016
Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious,
then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?
4 Comments, 37 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score |
|
paying for services 7/21/2016
When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage
with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service
is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services
to men.
It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!
2 Comments, 32 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score |
|
The Fickle Times We Live In..... 4/15/2016
"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe
you could learn to fuck better!"
That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after,
a less than par blowjob.....
"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks
that you keep in your closet?!!"
I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time.
She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
13 Votes
,0.46 Score |
|
The case of my missing twix bars.... 4/15/2016
The first time in total, and in my hands I left a little bit
of a mess.....
It was just then, when, she was going through my emails that
i have sent here and there.....
So, I said to her that it was just all in good fun, and yes I
do online sex often....
She's so cute, and sweet, as well as, A's on my report
card....
Yeah, it was not able to make a difference ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score |
|
Lessor of two evils 3/11/2016
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"At which time, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your
wife and the man ...
0 Comments, 229 Views,
24 Votes
,4.95 Score |
|
Make her scream... 3/11/2016
Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or
whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...
5 Comments, 112 Views,
17 Votes
,4.68 Score |
|
WINNER WINNER WINNER 3/11/2016
So, a man asks his wife "If I won the lottery, what would
you do?" His wife says, "Take half and leave you" The man smiles and says, "Good cuz I won 12 bux from
the lottery today, heres 6 now get out"
0 Comments, 50 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score |
|
Look how sexy my wife is... 2/6/2016
...That is all.
-Sexxxcrzd(m)
14 Comments, 174 Views,
26 Votes
,5.61 Score |
|
the vagina!!! 1/31/2016
The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started
with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size
piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking
temperamental.....
4 Comments, 120 Views,
41 Votes
,7.16 Score |
|
its funny now not s much then 12/6/2015
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 Comments, 98 Views,
21 Votes
,2.14 Score |
|
wife joke 10/30/2015
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband
is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but
warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her
to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night,
she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the
doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great!
I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...
14 Comments, 453 Views,
41 Votes
,6.76 Score |
|
BBQ time 10/30/2015
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt
is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances
towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's
wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really
think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one
little weenie?"
5 Comments, 225 Views,
22 Votes
,5.77 Score |
|
Always use condoms? 10/29/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score |
|
Always use condoms? 10/29/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 8/22/2015
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score |
|
Karma 8/20/2015
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 Comments, 236 Views,
26 Votes
,5.40 Score |
|
I Forget Stuff Sometimes 8/15/2015
I looked up at my ceiling the other day and as I was laying
there I saw what I thought to be a sliver of paint on it. I didn't
pay it any attention but I noticed that it had some limbs.
So obviously it's a bug. I grab the bug spray and down
it goes. I quickly picked it up off the floor and flush it
in the toilet. Moments later i get a knock at the door. So
I quickly answer the door as I am ...
0 Comments, 220 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score |
|
The Successful 8/3/2015
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 Comments, 229 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score |
|
Listen up 7/15/2015
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 Comments, 304 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score |
|
gossipers!!! 6/15/2015
Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor
of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into
other people's business. Several members did not
approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared
her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member,
Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
39 Votes
,6.82 Score |
|
Fucked up families 6/4/2015
There's a story in one of the Charles Town, Wes Virginiay
news about a brother and sister who went to their sons High
School graduation because all three graduated on the same
day in 2008. The really weird thing is that he has several profiles on
this and other sites and uses a photo of him with his sister
taken at the Graduation Party in 2008. Now that is really fucked up!!!
...
0 Comments, 64 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score |
|
my first romance 5/28/2015
haii friends, this is my real experience in my life.once
my Aunty's came to my house for spend her holidays.she
was very beautiful and sexy.I loved her so much.one day
night do small fighting between she and her mom.then she
get nervous feeling. and she come to my bed beside of me.then
time is gone.then I put my hand at her PUSSY.then she shifted
her face beside of my face, and she give a small ...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
7 Votes
,2.28 Score |
|
Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much... 4/15/2015
I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing;
while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something
naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date.
Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version.
It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score |
|
For Fun 3/15/2015
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score |
|
My Date From Hell! 2/18/2015
Written by: KyCre8iveGuy
NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD
AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S
THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!
I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old,
had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of
a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through
personal emails. Eventually, we ...
6 Comments, 297 Views,
39 Votes
,4.62 Score |
|
IRONY 1/13/2015
Isn't it Ironic that this page is blank, can one surmise
from that that there is nothing funny about sex? from my
experience it can't be so, many a gut splitting laugh
has come out of the absurd situation we sometimes find ourselves
in in the pursuit of sex.
0 Comments, 35 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
|
Romantic 12/2/2014
"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch
you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order
2 Comments, 44 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score |
|
Dead Roses! 11/21/2014
On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife
a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought
that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for
flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring
them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase
with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and
they looked a little bit better but still looked ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
|
A Realization After Sex 11/13/2014
So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She
started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms
so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget
the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!
We were tearing each other's clothes off like they
were on fire!
She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling
like I was trying to ...
3 Comments, 231 Views,
18 Votes
,3.26 Score |
|
Funny 11/12/2014
Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet?
There's nothing funny about it the next morning.
18 Comments, 133 Views,
29 Votes
,5.25 Score |
|
Testimonials 11/7/2014
If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile
or do you sometimes hide them?
5 Comments, 67 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score |
|
Going 10/31/2014
Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use
to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.
11 Comments, 126 Views,
24 Votes
,6.20 Score |
|
Humor 10/21/2014
We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch
them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what
people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those
of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple
profiles. It isn't.
9 Comments, 90 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score |
|
Funny? 10/15/2014
If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other
sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first
then I'll know you're just being funny.
10 Comments, 108 Views,
25 Votes
,6.56 Score |
|
Understanding Women 10/1/2014
A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings (as taken
from an interview with a woman)
FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which
we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine'
to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score |
|
Understanding Men 10/1/2014
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score |
|
When Alice Went Deer Hunting 10/1/2014
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down
to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about ...
2 Comments, 200 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score |
|
Hard Liquor... 9/20/2014
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Comments, 279 Views,
25 Votes
,6.67 Score |
|
Lunch would be ready...... 9/15/2014
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds
and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,
sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation,
erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell,
and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...
2 Comments, 247 Views,
21 Votes
,6.84 Score |
|
Three kinds of each... 9/6/2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman
goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like
pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes.
You see them and they make you cry." This ...
3 Comments, 157 Views,
20 Votes
,4.91 Score |
|
Lesbian joke #69 9/4/2014
What do you call a can of tuna on a lesbian's coffee table?
Potpourri
2 Comments, 88 Views,
19 Votes
,3.26 Score |
|
bar joke 7/19/2014
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give
me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of
a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for
six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says,
"I just found out that my youngest is gay, too!"
On ...
7 Comments, 342 Views,
24 Votes
,6.65 Score |
|
Joke... 6/27/2014
How do you know you just had a good blow job?
- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your
ass.
Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow
job is a good girl?
- She pulls the sheets back out for you.
2 Comments, 88 Views,
25 Votes
,3.91 Score |
|
SIR 4/30/2014
A
1 Comments, 59 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score |
|
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina 4/28/2014
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina
7 Comments, 262 Views,
26 Votes
,7.02 Score |
|
Interesting facts about the Penis 4/28/2014
Interesting facts about the Penis
6 Comments, 177 Views,
24 Votes
,7.33 Score |
|
Getting rid of Ex 4/4/2014
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first
time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks
it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes
out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you
hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta
be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant
you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...
3 Comments, 284 Views,
17 Votes
,5.39 Score |
|
how are people born? 4/4/2014
A asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then
their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The then went to his mother, asked her the same question
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now." The ran back to his
father and said, "You lied to me!" His father
replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...
3 Comments, 171 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score |
|
what women would do if they had a penis for a day 3/4/2014
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging
orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public ...
4 Comments, 87 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score |
|
WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY 3/4/2014
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball
20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE
closing ...
2 Comments, 63 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score |
|
25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys 3/4/2014
. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls.
They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply
means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have
you eaten already?" are the first usual ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
|
long distance 2/23/2014
How To Have A Long Distance Relationship VideoJug is here to help if geography is getting in the way
of you and your loved one. Follow our guide on how to have
a long distance relationship, and keep your relationship
alive despite where you are in the world.
Step 1: Talk it through
You need to discuss your expectations of the relationship
once you are apart, and set ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy 2/1/2014
I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key
on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have
a spare on your key ring.
The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite
a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes
they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie
and me.
And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...
3 Comments, 173 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score |
|
Foodie 1/27/2014
Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes
food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure"
define the same thing.
I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism,
I have however perceived others as such when my desire for
certain foods or eateries were denied.
...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.
But who could resist the succulent steak ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score |
|
What Annie didn't tell you.............. 1/23/2014
....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of
Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:
1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been
polished.
2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.
3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me
in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet
4. That ...
3 Comments, 101 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score |
|
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head) 1/23/2014
My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled,
he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before.
If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can
bake, fry, you name it.
However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over
for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's
where I come in...or at least I used to.
He gave me a list of ...
4 Comments, 156 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score |
|
What to do 1/1/2014
What to do
0 Comments, 23 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
|
What to do 1/1/2014
What to do
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY 11/30/2013
DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?
ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE
U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...
3 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score |
|
Glitter and Sparkles 10/1/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comments, 278 Views,
15 Votes
,5.73 Score |
|
Glitter and Sparkles 10/1/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comments, 100 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score |
|
Flakes. 9/18/2013
Tell your funniest flake story!
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |
|
On being discreet... 9/9/2013
I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and
I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work
is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative"
and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds
of different people a week. On top of that we're also
involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might
not be ready to understand. So we ...
2 Comments, 162 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score |
|
Greener Grass 9/7/2013
Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life
here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows
most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through
a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre
schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to
expect and though they all at one time or another ...
2 Comments, 284 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score |
|
Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob? 8/11/2013
haha
2 Comments, 64 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score |
|
Say it isn't so! 7/26/2013
A hysterical woman came into
the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while
sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad
at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put
it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't
locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either,
so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...
4 Comments, 364 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score |
|
Maybe you? 7/26/2013
"One night, a gurney rolled
in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be
straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing
a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina
cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor
on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes,
they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...
4 Comments, 323 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score |
|
funny 6/6/2013
tha ask her dad to use tha car he say wat u goin to
do for me she says idk wat do u want so he says i want a bj she
says thats sick ur my dad he says do u want tha car r not so she
starts suckin then she stops and looks at her dad and says
dad whys ur dick taste like shit so he says that reminds me
ur brothers using tha car
1 Comments, 198 Views,
9 Votes
|
|
I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny 3/16/2013
Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced,
sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my
Danny does.
I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that
are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since
they split with their husbands.
Danny can relate story after story to me about how these
women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...
5 Comments, 354 Views,
22 Votes
,3.49 Score |
|
Quit smoking 3/15/2013
A very smart doctor once told me that the only way for a man
to kill himself slowly over a period of 30-40 years while
spending huge amounts of moneey other than smoking was
to get married,
2 Comments, 175 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score |
|
SEXTING 2/11/2013
Text SEX 2win a BABY. 1t per sperm. Offer ends wen some-1
is pregnant. Lucky draw will b held @ d labour ward. promosen
starts wen U make love with some-1 & ends wen U ar satisfied,
hurry now! limited partners. So get started now!
0 Comments, 142 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |
|
Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers 2/2/2013
Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....
Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back
to bite us in the ass the very next second.
By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get
Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.
Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him
for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...
3 Comments, 269 Views,
20 Votes
,4.66 Score |
|
Fun at the Gentleman’s Club 10/27/2012
Fun at the Gentleman’s Club
I have been on AdultFriendFinder off and on now for several years. I have
met some great ladies and continue to be friends. A short time ago, I contacted a lady on AdultFriendFinder and she stated
she was a dancer. I chatted with her and finally went to meet
her at her club. It was not one of the fancier ones in the area,
but reminded me of a club I liked in Pennsylvania. As we chatted ...
3 Comments, 368 Views,
13 Votes
,1.47 Score |
|
accidental slip 10/20/2012
alright i very much like the doggy position. as a girl is
it a big deal when a guy slips his dick in the asshole instead
of the pussy on accident.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Article Title 9/12/2012
Article Body
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Funny only now, many years later 8/11/2012
I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman
during orientation.
That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get
a string in my mouth.
Yep, you guessed it.
So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and
ask her if she's on the the rag.
Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she
didn't realize there was anything ...
5 Comments, 274 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score |
|
humor 7/3/2012
so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but
an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost
burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls
to fart during sex
7 Comments, 130 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
|
Lost condom ?? 6/12/2012
Would some of you like to share your humorous moments with
you lover. I will share on of mine, we had lots of fun and some
good sex, we were using a condom of course. After playtime
we were looking for the condom to put it in the garbage, well
we took apart the bed, looked under the bed, on the floor...could
not find it, so we thought we should look and see what had
turned out on the ...
6 Comments, 457 Views,
25 Votes
,5.90 Score |
|
IMPORTANT 5/30/2012
HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE
3 Comments, 55 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score |
|
swinger or swingers 3/15/2012
here is some food for thought if you and your partner are
active swingers , but this time you do your own thing(have
sex with another swinger couple) without your partner.
do they have the right to be upset about it
2 Comments, 145 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
|
Humor and Attraction : who likes jokers ?? 2/24/2012
Have you heard the one about the relationship scientist
who walks into a bar with a journal under one arm and a duck
under the other? Never mind...it wasn’t very funny to
begin with. If that's the only joke you know, will your
lackluster sense of humor hurt you when it comes to attracting
a romantic partner? It turns out that the use and importance
of humor differs between men and women in ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
First Date Fuck-Ups, episode 2 2/7/2012
I met Jose (not his real name, to protect the guilty), while
I was pumping gas & he was cleaning the canopy over the
gas pumps. He would splash a little water to make me think
it had started sprinkling. He did this twice before I looked
up to see him. He then asked if I would like to go to a movie
Friday. He was very good looking so I answered yes. He told
me where his second job is, what time he ...
5 Comments, 524 Views,
24 Votes
,4.61 Score |
|
Singles 2/1/2012
"If you're going to cheat, you shouldn't
be in a relationship."
Is it just me, or do you hear single people say this a helluva
lot more than those in relationships?
1 Comments, 86 Views,
2 Votes
|
|
april fool 1/30/2012
you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend
under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both
scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise
its april 1st. what would you do.
9 Comments, 371 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score |
|
Ed the Chicken ! 1/4/2012
Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his
sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only
one way you can go back, and that is as a ...
5 Comments, 372 Views,
16 Votes
,3.42 Score |
|
Laughter in bed 11/17/2011
Sex is the major component of a relationship and so aslong
as you maintain it you maintain your relationship.alot
of humour can be brought out of sex if you look deep enuf, your
partners body is a store of humour that you can use, just
make a sexy seductive joke abouts yours or their body and
see how fast the laughter will lead you two to the bedroom.have
some naughty humour in your relationship ...
0 Comments, 63 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
her,or so she says 10/9/2011
watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back
of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up
my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and
i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could
stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in
a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was
very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...
7 Comments, 571 Views,
39 Votes
,4.62 Score |
|
Pitfalls vs Pussies? 8/23/2011
I'm just curious to know what women prefer in bed. I'm
sure if your sitting at home right now with the moggy on your
lap your gonna say pussy right? But if you had put pussy to
bed 5 min ago, and walked into your bedroom, What would you
be expecting to find?
A bottle of wine and chocolate, a whip or other? I understand everyone here states their preferences,
but I'm seeking here ...
2 Comments, 122 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score |
|
humor 8/13/2011
we all need to laugh and humor can help us all relax, sexually
it is v important
1 Comments, 44 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score |
|
Bra Sizes 7/27/2011
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the
Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure
out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became
informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
10 Comments, 513 Views,
36 Votes
,4.45 Score |
|
Noble King Arthur 6/29/2011
King Arthur
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch
of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed
him, but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the
monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer
a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure
out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer,
he would be put to ...
3 Comments, 290 Views,
12 Votes
,6.16 Score |
|
Like a Tiger 6/29/2011
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready
to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to
the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not
a virgin."
The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this
day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger ...
1 Comments, 384 Views,
11 Votes
,3.35 Score |
|
The Old Farmer 6/29/2011
The old farmer sat rocking on the front porch as he talked
to the stranger. "Been thirty years since I lost my
wife in these woods."
"Oh, I’m sorry, " the stranger said, "It
must have been hard to lose your wife like that."
"Hard?" the farmer snorted, "Was damn
near impossible! She knew those woods like the back of her
hand!"
1 Comments, 382 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score |
|
the Big Game Hunter 6/23/2011
The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone
about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good
shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could
blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin
from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole
he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed
the animal.
The hunter said ...
1 Comments, 261 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score |
|
Piece of Cake 6/23/2011
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making
a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my
room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake
after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little
Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in ...
1 Comments, 298 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
Sex at Seven 6/23/2011
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking redheaded
lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
you ...
1 Comments, 258 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
|
Two Friends 6/23/2011
Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens
to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying
me flowers again...for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s
the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"
The brunette says, "Oh ...
2 Comments, 316 Views,
10 Votes
,4.78 Score |
|
"Joys of Parenting " 6/22/2011
A Woman's Experience With
For those who already have past this age, this
is hilarious. For those who have this age, this
is not funny. For those who have nearing this age,
this is a warning. For those who have not yet had ,
this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother.
Things I've learned from my (honest &
no kidding):
1. A king size ...
2 Comments, 275 Views,
12 Votes
,5.63 Score |
|
Women 6/22/2011
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like
cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce
I love women. They're the best thing ever created.
If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's
fine. --Mel ...
1 Comments, 154 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
Vacation 6/22/2011
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband
liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to
read. One morning the husband returned after several hours
of fishing and decided to take a nap.
The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take
the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she
rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...
1 Comments, 279 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score |
|
Starting a fight 6/5/2011
A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to
be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband
turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO"
she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final
answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply
"YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like
to phone a friend" THen the fight started.
0 Comments, 418 Views,
17 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
booted out 6/3/2011
A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and
went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He
saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front
yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in
the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your
leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with
you"
2 Comments, 371 Views,
12 Votes
,3.68 Score |
|
Show Some Manners! 4/17/2011
True Story!
I used to have a girlfriend who would always want to reach
for my dinner plate with her fork, or grab my drink, and just
help herself......without even asking! If she would have
at least asked first, I would have been gracious enough
to concede.
The next time I was ready for her.
We were double dating with a friend of ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score |
|
Have you ever farted during sex? 4/6/2011
My first one night stand EVER I accidently let one slip while
she was blowing me. We laughed it off and I felt quite embarassed
until 2 minutes later she let one go as I brought her legs
over her shoulders. Girls do fart!
1 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH 4/5/2011
am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone
who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking
for something that can turn into a long term relationship
and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the
internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa
and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take
me to a hotel and ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
|
Infidelity Discovered 3/14/2011
A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife
found out about it, so she told him "If you don't
end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where
you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good
cheating filthy bum."
The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown
to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see
that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...
3 Comments, 443 Views,
19 Votes
,2.46 Score |
|
The Garden of Eden 3/14/2011
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,
I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals,
and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...
2 Comments, 274 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score |
|
Magic Frog 3/14/2011
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into
the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found
a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release
me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to
your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...
4 Comments, 240 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score |
|
My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years....... 3/7/2011
My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.
. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the
airport
. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...
1 Comments, 286 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
the King 3/7/2011
The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps
of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked,
beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self.
He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise
struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused,
for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved
reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...
1 Comments, 172 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
Red Flags and warning signs.... 3/7/2011
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
|
Free Tattoo 3/7/2011
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100
dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and
says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one
good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like
to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
1 Comments, 202 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score |
|
Just Try to be Strong 3/7/2011
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds
a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while
tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's
in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an ...
3 Comments, 225 Views,
12 Votes
,5.63 Score |
|
Off to Hawaii 3/7/2011
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always
dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able
to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each
time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy
bank.
They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for
about a year. After that time, they decided that there was
enough money for their ...
1 Comments, 144 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
'reyan George" captured! 2/25/2011
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on AdultFriendFinder.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 Comments, 150 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
|
Mrs. Boudreaux 2/25/2011
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana;
the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux
noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float
back ...
3 Comments, 181 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
Abstinance 2/18/2011
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become
members of his church. The minister said that they would
have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and
tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle
aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it ...
3 Comments, 172 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score |
|
Sexual Desire Enhancement 2/18/2011
Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate;
my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle
of ...
3 Comments, 180 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score |
|
His and Her Diary 2/17/2011
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked
him ...
3 Comments, 179 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score |
|
reincarnation 2/16/2011
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what
are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...
1 Comments, 151 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
|
the Portrait 2/14/2011
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by
a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint
me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace,
glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby
pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
|
the Farmer and His Wife 2/6/2011
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Comments, 220 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
the Bus Ride 1/27/2011
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with
the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered
to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and
said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
1 Comments, 140 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
|
the in-laws 1/25/2011
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
2 Comments, 172 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
|
expectations 1/24/2011
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
dont do it ! 1/23/2011
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly,
opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the
arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her
purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome
with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...
1 Comments, 175 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
Revenge ? 1/22/2011
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While
they’re Sitting there having a good time together, she
starts talking about this Really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and
starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for
him. The Bartender brings the drink and puts the following ...
0 Comments, 175 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score |
|
Pizza Pizza 1/22/2011
My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner.
As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having
convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called
the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic
unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me
not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She
was just having "Little Seizures."
1 Comments, 171 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
the bank hostages 1/22/2011
This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.
He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "Yes."
The crook, promptly shoots him.
Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did
you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."
1 Comments, 125 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
the sex talk 1/16/2011
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other
for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally
time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided ...
1 Comments, 152 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score |
|
the beer drinker 1/16/2011
A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his
wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.
I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my
skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink
it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.
Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties
every day, replies the husband. ...
1 Comments, 186 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
|
at dinner 1/16/2011
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)
suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair
and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining ...
1 Comments, 139 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
|
show me the money 1/16/2011
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't
be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear,
if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be
in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first ...
1 Comments, 107 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
first time swallowing 1/8/2011
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 Comments, 181 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Size Doesn't Matter 1/1/2011
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 Comments, 304 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score |
|
marriage proposal 12/27/2010
When asked if there was anything they would have changed
about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several
women said a 'bigger diamond!'
54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission
to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation
into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score |
|
New Years Eve Dream 12/26/2010
Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve
before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided
to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me
a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you
think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max
smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached
Janice and handed her small ...
1 Comments, 132 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
|
New Years Eve Party 12/26/2010
Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence
with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man
knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one
knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the
kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple
of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You
know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't
even ...
2 Comments, 133 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
|
the Maple Leaf 12/24/2010
After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the
little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had
happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally
got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's
when she hit me with a maple leaf!"
"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious
injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.
"Are you ...
1 Comments, 116 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
|
Who Makes the Coffee 12/24/2010
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that's your
job. I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No ...
3 Comments, 131 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
|
Tom and Linda 12/24/2010
Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table,
reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article
about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football
player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common
knowledge.
He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his
face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks
get the ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
|
Night of the black strap on ! 12/18/2010
I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back
in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She
lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom
upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was
always licking her lips like Cher.
After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom
and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...
5 Comments, 280 Views,
15 Votes
,3.13 Score |
|
Larry asnd Susan 12/17/2010
The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and
Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand
and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't
work quite like that. We will determine the value of the
old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the
policy on my husband"
1 Comments, 166 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
|
well get this 12/16/2010
ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the
dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good
till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the
pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis!
got to love him!
3 Comments, 184 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
|
the state trooper 12/16/2010
An 85-year old husband and wife decide to take a road trip.
She drives because she can see and he rides because he can
hear.
After traveling for a while, they get pulled over by a State
Trooper. She rolls down her window and the cop says "I
need to see your drivers license and vehicle registration
please." The woman turns to her husband and shouts
"WHAT DID HE SAY?" The husband replies, ...
2 Comments, 162 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score |
|
The Hammer 12/16/2010
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're
charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You
bastard." The judge says, "You're also
charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with
a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells
out, "You God-damned bastard." The judge stops,
and says to the guy in the back of the ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
the funeral service 12/16/2010
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying
the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall,
jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the
casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again,
a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score |
|
adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl have to give me kiss?
1 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl have my cock in her pussy?
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me for half hour?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me and taste my cock?
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
newlywed farm couple 12/15/2010
A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't
get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields
at down, they tear off a piece, and when he returns home at
evening they have another go, before and after supper,
and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is
during the day: the fields are a long way from the house,
and the young man loses so much time traveling home ...
1 Comments, 130 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
one fall day 12/14/2010
One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed
a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was
a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly
along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking
in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following
the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife, " the man replied. "I'm
sorry, " ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
|
Internet connection ! 12/14/2010
There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did
not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went
down almost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no
supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some
bananas and ...
5 Comments, 117 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score |
|
Doctor ! Doctor ! 12/14/2010
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull
yourself together, man!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a
ring.
Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.
Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking
I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score |
|
senior citizen romance 12/13/2010
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband
was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk.
She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and
tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss
me."
Mildly irritated, he reached ...
1 Comments, 94 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
|
New Panties ! 12/3/2010
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties
in order to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on
the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times
till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-e-s-s-s, " she answers with a seductive
smile.
"Thank God for ...
6 Comments, 146 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score |
|
the card game 12/3/2010
Boudreau, Thibodeau, Pierre, Trusclair, and Old Man John
were playing cards in the back room at Pierre’s Bar. Suddenly
Old Man John grabbed his chest, groaned, and fell over dead.
Everybody was upset but nobody wanted to be the one to tell
John’s wife Jean... Finally Boudreau accepted the task.
“You gotta break it to her gently. We don’t want Miss
Jean to think we had ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
used parrot 12/3/2010
Mary decided to surprise her husband Boudreau with a parrot
for his birthday. At the local pet store, the one parrot
available was priced at $29.95.
“Why so inexpensive?” she asked the pet store owner.
“Well, he used to live in a house of and sometimes
says vulgar things.”
Since Boudreau’s birthday was the next day, she went
ahead and bought the bird. ...
3 Comments, 93 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score |
|
hearing test 12/3/2010
One day Boudreau went to the doctor to get a check up. Boudreau
says to the doctor, “Mais you know something doc ... my
wife Clotile, she’s having trouble wit her hearing.”
De doc say, “Well Boudreau, how bad is it?”
“Mais doc I don’t know how bad it really is but she don’t
seem to hear me at all. Whats de best way to find out how bad
her hearing is?”
...
1 Comments, 62 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
|
Grandma's pies ! 12/2/2010
Granny made such beautiful pies.
So one day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful
pies with the crimps around the edges so even?"
She said, "It's a family secret. So promise not
to tell. I roll out the dough, and I cut out a bottom layer
and carefully put it in a pie plate. Then I slowly pour the
filling, making sure it's not too full. Next I cut a
top layer and put it ...
7 Comments, 176 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score |
|
Saving someone's picture as a screensaver 11/28/2010
If someone you've only known for a few months saves
your picture as their desktop background, is that funny
or downright creepy?
4 Comments, 81 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
the married mans confession 11/23/2010
A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest,
"Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."
"What do you mean almost?" questions the priest.
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then I stopped."
"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, "
explains the priest. "You're not to go near that
woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 ...
1 Comments, 127 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
25th wedding anniversary 11/16/2010
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years
ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw
my naked body in front of you, what was going through your
mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are
you ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score |
|
the truck driver 11/16/2010
A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the
foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex
in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded
his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought
the truck' to a halt inches from them. The truck driver
got out and stormed: "What the hell's the matter
with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You could have been ...
1 Comments, 112 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score |
|
over seas vacation 11/16/2010
With his wife away on an overseas trip, a guy decided to take
his secretary back to his house for an evening of passion.
They were rolling around on the bed when he suddenly remembered
he didn't have any condoms. I "What are we gonna
do?" he said. "I don't know, " answered
the secretary. "I don't have any either."
Just then he hit upon an idea. "Hey'" he
yelled exultantly. "No problem. I know ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
a day to live.... 11/16/2010
A middle-aged man was told at the hospital that he had only
24 hours to live. He went home in a state of shock and fell
into his wife's arms. "I've been told I've
only got 24 hours to live, " he said. "Can we
have sex one last time?" "Of course, honey, "
she said, and they went to bed. Four hours later, he turned
to her and said: "Could we have sex again? I've
only '" got 20 hours to live. It ...
1 Comments, 104 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
|
using vaseline.... 11/16/2010
A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf
of Vaseline. A woman answered the door."Do you use
Vaseline?" asked the researcher. "Certainly, "
she said. "It's very good for cuts, grazes and
burns." "And what about anything else?"
he asked. "Like what?" He became embarrassed.
"Well, sex, maybe." Oh, of course." she
said. "I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my
husband out."
1 Comments, 105 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score |
|
To Wax or not to Wax ? 11/12/2010
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home,
fix dinner, play with the . I then had the thought that
would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe
should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was
one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump
of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in ...
2 Comments, 136 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score |
|
dirty 4 letter words..... 11/5/2010
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, " said her mother, "how was the
honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama, " she replied, "the honeymoon
as wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon
as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language
- things I'd ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score |
|
the fishing trip 11/4/2010
Four married guys went fishing. After an hour or so, the
following conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able
to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife
I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing! I had to promise
my wife I'd build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score |
|
devotion 11/4/2010
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every
single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her
to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You
know what? You have been with me all through the bad times...When
I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you ...
1 Comments, 100 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score |
|
the octopus 11/4/2010
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets
the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This
is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50
that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of
it."
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought
up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started
picking away, better than Jimi ...
1 Comments, 74 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
A woman is like a copier. 10/23/2010
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while
to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device
when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak
havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
2 Comments, 42 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
Funny hunny 10/18/2010
i know everyone has at least one hilarious sex story thats
just to funny to be made up...if ur not too embarassed please
share the humor lol
5 Comments, 162 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |
|
surgical procedure 10/16/2010
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his , a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his . "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be
nervous, ; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me . your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
2 Comments, 129 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score |
|
evolution 10/15/2010
A little girl asked her father, "How did the human
race come about?"
The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they
had and so all mankind was made."
Two days later she asks her mother the same question.
The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys,
and we developed from them."
The confused girl returns to her father and says: "Dad,
how is it ...
1 Comments, 110 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
she was framed ! 10/14/2010
A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away.
His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet,
and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably
distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her
to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat
before they went.
When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted
his wife's coat to ...
3 Comments, 114 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
|
she was framed ! 10/14/2010
A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away.
His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet,
and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably
distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her
to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat
before they went.
When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted
his wife's coat to ...
1 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score |
|
a lil honey 10/14/2010
A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where
he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his
wife with endearing terms, calling her Honey, Darling,
Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and so forth. He was impressed at
this, since the couple had been married over 50 years.
While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think
it's wonderful that after all these years you still
call your ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
|
where in the states do people have sex more often? 10/1/2010
There are people that will say out west they have to most
sex because of the nice beaches.then their are people that
will say no the state that have the coldest weather have.
now if they say that az mn fl or those southern state have
more sex. Here is for for thought, in those sunshine states
OLD people out number the young!!! So they must be having
a lot of sex right! nothing wrong with that ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
|
joe and john 9/30/2010
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out
his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking
it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he
could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that
day and most of the evening. Unknown to him, his brother
John's wife had died suddenly in his ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score |
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......but who will get the wet spot?? 9/30/2010
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there
a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was
that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!"
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown,
tie score!"
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says
- "Touchdown, ...
1 Comments, 108 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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matter of opinion...... 9/30/2010
An old man marries a young woman, and though they’re in
love, the wife can’t achieve an orgasm.
They ask a psychiatrist for advice. He says, “Hire a strapping
young man. While you’re making love, have him wave a towel
over your bodies.”
The couple’s desperate, so they hire a male to
wave a towel. But despite a lengthy lovemaking session,
the wife still can’t get ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
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domestic dispute.... 9/30/2010
Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender,
"Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight
with the little woman."
"Oh yeah, " said Eddie. "And how did this
one end?"
"When it was over, " Harvey replied, "she
came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under that bed, you ...
1 Comments, 101 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score |
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just funny stories 9/27/2010
seen a pile of funny stories on here so thought id throw mine
up here. funniest thing that ever happened to me during
sex was when me and a girlfriend were house and sitting
at her aunts house and we ended up having sex on the couch.
apparently the dogs thought i was hurting her and two out
of the three dogs kept biting me in the ankles for about ten
minutes. needless to say we moved into the ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
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Who's The Boss 9/25/2010
A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself.
"You don't have to let your wife henpeck you.
Go home and show her you are the boss." The man was on fire with enthusiasm and couldn't wait
to try to the Doctor's advice. He rushed home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's
face, and growled, "From now on, you're taking
orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when ...
1 Comments, 173 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
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Worth the grin ! 9/22/2010
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom,
that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher
a note from his mother. The note ...
2 Comments, 180 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score |